Let’s Talk Healing
Photo by Cherry Laithang on Unsplash
In the next several posts, I will share more about some of the things I’ve done to help me while I’ve been healing in my grieving. First, I must address a critical element to all of this—my struggle for control.
Most of us who have lost loved ones struggle with this desire to control everything in our lives. Our greatest fear and pain have been realized now, which was the most horrible experience we could ever imagine. It was entirely out of our ability to control. Often, in response, we can become control freaks. I find when I’m most stressed and hurting, I tend to attempt to exert control over the most uncontrollable areas of my life. I bring all of this up because it has to do with my own healing in grieving.
Throughout the last couple of years since my husband unexpectedly passed away, I have, at times, desperately attempted to control my own healing. I’ve tried to formulate how I could become better and not hurt so much. I’ve attempted to build dependable daily patterns to take the edge off of the hurting, to say I’m doing better. This method is not long-lasting. It doesn’t bring the deep, heart-healing I need and is more like a “spit and wipe” kind of bandaid. I need Jesus. I need His ways for healing. Only He knows what my heart can handle and what my heart needs. I want His way because it is lasting. It is what really works. He is the one who gives deep, real rest. He is willing. He is teaching. I must listen and learn. He is gentle and humble. He is kind. I need His way of healing, not mine.
To quote a friend, “Rest is part of the restoration process” when he referenced this scripture, “Come to me all of you who are tired from the heavy burden you have been forced to carry. I will give you rest. Accept my teaching. Learn from me. I am gentle and humble in spirit. And you will be able to get some rest.” -Matthew 11:28-29 ERV
He is the way, the truth, and the life. I need Him. As I share some of the things I’ve done in my healing journey, please know, this is not a prescriptive method. The way I’ve walked through this is my own. It’s custom for my heart. Some of these things may help you in your own journey. Some of the things I share may help you be kind to your grieving friend or family member. I hope for that; however, I trust that every person has a unique custom healing journey of his or her own.
Begin taking steps toward healing, toward pushing yourself to do some of the tough things. That’s a good start. Ultimately, surrender your pain and healing to the Father. Our God. He knows what you need, and He will lead you in this healing journey. This is between you and Him. It’s personal. Let it be personal.