Confusion: A Quick Companion
Confused Thought: It's easy to attach myself to confusion, anger, and pain.
Truth: Confusion is not my companion. The Spirit of God is.
Photo by Louis Galvez on Unsplash
This is one of my most cherished treasures from the Holy Spirit. Anytime I found myself dealing with confusion, I quickly reached for this truth, "Confusion is not my companion. The Spirit of God is.". This became one of the most grounding phrases I repeat to myself.
I found confusion has a tendency (in my experience) to volunteer as a companion. It likes to attach to just about every thought. If I let it run unchecked, it'll do just that. I experienced many thoughts and confusion about becoming a young widow. Confusion is often presented within me as questions.
How could this happen? This isn't what I believed the Bible meant with all of its promises. Where is God in all of this? Is He sovereign? How much of our life is our own responsibility and how much of it just happens to us? What am I going to do in life? How can I be in my 30s and the love of my life is no longer here? Why didn't we have children or build a family? What am I supposed to do with my life? What is my identity now? I don't understand. What I knew to be true and what my life experience is showing me are opposites. It's like they are completely different languages.
Confusion also shared space with anger and my pain. These three seemed to have a working relationship. They happily collaborated with their opinions on how I should feel about my loss. How I should think about my life. They can be quite the noisy bunch.
All of this noise brought about internal discombobulation. I began losing my footing in my faith. I believed those three effortlessly. That part took no energy or effort. Their opinions appeared backed up by my lived experience. This influenced my interpretation of life.
And then the Holy Spirit grabbed my attention and heart. He reminded me what the Truth is. (Emphasis added).
"For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints." 1 Corinthians 14:33 KJV
This passage relates to how the church conducts itself in a group. It has to do with words that are understood and shared and words that are not understood when shared; this can confuse the hearers. It is often referenced to illustrate that God is a God of order, not confusion or disorder. It is an integral part of my foundation in the faith. It helps to point out what is and what is not from God.
He then reminded me of several vital notes he gives in Proverbs (emphasis added).
"My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen to my words. Never let them get away from you. Remember them and keep them in your heart. They will give life and health to anyone who understands them. Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts. Never say anything that isn't true. Have nothing to do with lies and misleading words. Look straight ahead with honest confidence; don't hang your head in shame. Plan carefully what you do, and whatever you do will turn out right. Avoid evil and walk straight ahead. Don't go one step off the right way." - Proverbs 4:20-27 GNT
All of this recalibrated my heart and mind. It's become an anchor for me anytime confusion attempts to come over and hang out with me. The Spirit of God is my companion. Now and forever.
"For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory."
1 Thessalonians 2:11-12 ESV